At least make sure they are 18
Why
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
