Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
