You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You dont lie about slip and slides
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
