evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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