After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
