I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
