You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize