What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We left the knife in your bed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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