Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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