I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
