No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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