i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize