Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
