I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
