I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
