I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
