Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
