did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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