That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
