Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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