What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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