I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
