No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You are the jesus of drinking
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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