summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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