Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
