why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
