too bad you live with your parents still
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ugly people sure do ruin things
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
