dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
