Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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