I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
