Its about making memories worth repressing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
