Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You need Xanax blowdarts
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
