i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
