the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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