Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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