Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
