I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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