Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The air taste purple.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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