just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
