I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
