it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
