If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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