the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
