Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize