You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
