You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
