I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize