FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
