U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
