with your own penis?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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