Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
