Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
