You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
