well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
