So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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