I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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