Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
