I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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